To raise awareness and commemorate Ali, it's essential to understand that her battle with mental illness was sudden and brief. Throughout her life, shy of the last five months, Ali lived to the fullest, spreading love and light into the world. Her presence was a bright beacon, touching lives and creating a positive impact wherever she went.  

We took a family trip to visit her in Big Sky in March of 2023 and Ali was the same warm, cheerful, luminous spirit we knew and loved. However, one month later in April 2023, she experienced a sudden manic episode, which transpired on the 22nd of that month. This led to a diagnosis of Bipolar I with psychotic features. Since then, Ali wasn't herself anymore. 

This condition can be hereditary, and at 23 years old, Ali was within the typical age range for the onset of this disease. Before this episode, Ali had no history of mental health issues. This sudden change underscores the unpredictability and severity of mental illnesses.

Ali faced these difficulties with incredible courage and strength. On October 3, 2023, she made an impulsive and quick decision to put an end to her suffering. At that moment she was not the Ali we knew, and she couldn’t live with that, she was feeling too much internal pain. Mental illness is a very real struggle, and Ali would want us to come together to end the stigma and shame surrounding it.

Ali was composing this message to her friends and family because it broke her heart that she couldn’t connect the way she wanted to, which was so Ali – she was more concerned about her family and friends and deeply treasured friendship. She only wanted to be able to share her light and love and she felt like it had disappeared forever. (Of course that was her brain making things up and she was in crisis)

This was Ali’s message:

“Hello friends, I haven’t known how to make this post but I feel as though it’s necessary. I’ve been struggling every day now for the past 5 months.

It is scary, and unfair how quickly life can change.

As some of you may remember, I had a manic episode in April that came out of nowhere along with a bipolar 1 diagnosis. I have never known much about mental illness and I never knew it could be something that could spring onto you one day with no warning.

What I’m experiencing right now is by far the most challenging thing I’ve ever had to endure.

I’m dealing with something called anhedonia which is the inability to feel joy, pleasure, love, comfort, and any other feel-good emotion, along with poverty of speech, flat affect (almost nonexistent expression of emotion), and severe depression, and to be honest that isn’t even close to all I'm experiencing on a daily basis. This all may not sound like a big deal to most but it has been completely debilitating in every aspect of my life and truly unexplainable unless you go through it yourself.

I’m not sure why I feel the need to share this with all of you and I’m sure only a few will read this but the unfortunate truth is that my life will never be the same. Socializing is hard. Every day is hard and very painful. Know that I love you all and am trying my best.”

Ali certainly gave it her all! Every day brought a new opportunity – whether it was keeping gratitude journals, taking long walks, biking, visiting the beach, handpicking fruit at local farms, or simply eating ice cream while watching the sunset. These endeavors were supplemented with therapy, numerous medication trials, and medical assistance. Regrettably, despite Ali's relentless efforts and our unwavering support, stability eluded her even five months later. Her experience isn't universal; unfortunately, she was resistant to treatments.

Ali had injured herself to the point of having no real life here with us, so as a family we made the heart-wrenching decision to let her depart peacefully, thereby respecting her wish to be an organ donor through Gift of Life. A single organ donor has the potential to save up to eight lives, and a tissue donor can improve the quality of life for hundreds more. We are confident that Ali would take pride in knowing her generosity could impact so many lives.

Our most earnest request is for everyone to take a moment to check in on themselves and their loved ones. Recognize that depression is multifaceted and not merely feeling sad. Sadness is a natural emotion, especially in response to tragic events like this. It's crucial to understand that depression and mental illness are real, and not everyone has control over their feelings. For those of us who have the privilege of choice, let's opt for kindness even when we don't comprehend why people behave in certain ways. Let's choose love, encouraging words, lifting each other up, and determining how WE want to move forward in our lives. To truly honor Ali, we should strive to live our lives to the fullest potential.

We know that Ali is watching over us all, gracing us with her radiant smile from above, offering her support, and carrying out vital celestial duties.

In Ali, we found not just a freestyle skiing enthusiast, but a beacon of light and an embodiment of the beauty of genuine human connection. Her spirit will forever inspire us to live life to the fullest, to dance through the challenges with grace, to embrace our passions with unwavering dedication, and to hold dear the bonds of family and friendship that make life truly meaningful.